Relationship Status: Internet

I officially need glasses and I have directed blame towards the intense exposure to the internet over the past 18 or so months. This is probably an alarming outcome, but the internet has been my therapy and hand-holder throughout the pandemic, so the new tortoiseshell numbers can stay.

This is not going to be a Covid related spiel (huge shout out to auto correct not recognising the C-bomb) but more an exploration into how we may be morphing into products of the internet. Admittedly, I’ve never been a huge technology nerd. I held onto my BlackBerry until its final minutes, and transitioned across to friendships that exist off meme tagging.

Although it can be murky, but how many times have we turned to Mr Google for a free medical diagnosis or someone’s star sign to execute a plan of attack. Like the President Garland McCoy of the Technology Education Institute, he credits the internet to allowing him to be a “real-time engaged parent, husband, partner, problem solver, counselor, comforter, etc., while traveling anywhere in the world.”

Whether we acknowledge or deny our obsession, the internet has served as a lifeline whilst locked between four walls and acted as a virtual escape (hello European summer Instagram stories). For a machine to connect with our friends or family is pretty impressive, and to provide a distraction from those dreary lockdown walks. Online deliveries to cheer up our days, trawling UberEats for hours just to salivate at the pics, living through virtual Instagram holidays, furiously refreshing the news apps, trawling loungewear sales for bulk pants we don’t need and scrolling endless recipes on Pinterest. We’ve turned to the internet for answers, entertainment, an escape, and well, just to assist our lives in general when we’ve had fear instilled in us when attending Coles.

Lately, I’ve tried reverting to the pre-2020 bedtime routine of a humble read in bed rather than ensure my brain is as well fed as my stomach with information. The result? I lost interest in the pages pretty quickly. This new internet addition thing has led to a nasty habit of operating with multiple brain tabs, I’ve developed an attention deficiency issue and I want my Nokia back immediately. I’ve been experiencing a greater urge in internet searches which may include the latest Haribo release, the lifespan of a fly or “what happened on this day in history” because I think I’m feeling a bit detached from the outside world; being stuck inside and it’s turning us bonkers.

We’re unquestionably guilty of becoming a victim of IG when it lures us to the latest croissant featuring turmeric honey or a chic new dog ensemble. Things have become so accessible that I fear I will never shop in a clothes store again because, that just seems like far too much effort when I can tap away in the Uber en route to the pub. So in saying this, internet presents convenience and accessibility on heat; what we have alllllll relied on during the pandemic. Whether it’s a love or hate, it’s a thrill seeking relationship full of lust.

In a time where we’re keeping up on the health front, the internet is helping us to achieve our goals through apps such as FitBit, sleep trackers, online food programs and fitness regimes while we can’t physically access the gym. Are we also saving money? Probably, because I don’t think I have ever applied a discount code at the naturopath checkout I’ve used from an influencer. We’re saving time in our day with traffic updates, and Googling menus before we arrive at the restaurant. It’s a constant flow of information and we’re demanding more of it.

Senior researcher Mike Liebhold of the Institute for the Future noted the immense importance of the internet for his family, using the platform “to inform or improve their well-being: diet, fitness, health, social interaction with family and friends in person and online, education, entertainment, employment, commerce, finance and civic engagement.” Is there anything it doesn’t cover?

For now, I’ll be ignoring the screen time notifications kindly sent in by my iPhone.